Twilight By: Stephanie Meyer

 By: Unknown    8:48 PM  One star, Paranormal, Twilight, Vampire   4 comments

One Star: Terrible

GoodReads Summary:

Isabella Swan's move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Isabella's life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Isabella, the person Edward holds most dear. The lovers find themselves balanced precariously on the point of a knife-between desire and danger. Deeply romantic and extraordinarily suspenseful, Twilight captures the struggle between defying our instincts and satisfying our desires. This is a love story with bite.

One star. Now I feel guilty. I hate giving out one star review. I couldn’t help it. I was disgusted with this book.  Atrocious, as our narrator, Bella, would say. This leads us into our first problem: the purple prosing.

 Most of the words were way too complicated to be in a young adult book. For example, how many teenagers do you think use the words masochistic, unconditionally, or menace in an everyday conversation. Stephanie Meyer seemed to destroy her thesaurus with words she could use, but she kept using the same words in places she needed her thesaurus.

Bella made some of the most idiotic decisions one can make. She fell in love with the vampire, Edward, pretty much the second they met. He warned her, many times, that he was dangerous. Sure, the element of danger is compelling to some people. I’ll give you that. If only Bella hadn’t been oblivious to it. Also, she whines and blushes way too much. I think I might have liked her better if Meyer had given her a slight resemblance of a backbone. 

Why is it that Edward is so important that he’s the only thing that she thinks of? She doesn’t think of what she wants to do after college. Nor does she think of what she wants to be when she becomes an adult. Please, Bella. A guy isn’t important enough for him to take up your entire brain capacity. Well, maybe yours.

Edward. You just destroyed the idea that with age comes wisdom. If he really loved Bella (I don’t know how, though), he would stay away from her. He even told her that he should stay away from him. I thought, “Oh, okay. He might not actually be that bad.” Less than a chapter later, he came back.

Edward is creepy. He’s a stalker. Who else would watch other people sleep? He’s also bipolar. And controlling. What else? What about the fact that he sparkles? He sparkles. Glitters. Scintillates. Gleams. Glistens. Why, Stephanie, just why? Creative? Yes. With vampires? No, just no.

I might have thrown the book across the room if I heard one more “description” of Edward. All Bella talks about is that Edward is hot. She might have mentioned his hair color being bronze. That’s it.

Don’t even get me started on the secondary characters. Or the nonplot. Or the terrible "action scene". Or the- I’m going to stop now.

Whatever you do, don’t read this book.